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| New Miley Cyrus DVD: £15 Tub of Vaseline: £3 XL Box of Tissues: £2 The look of disgust on the cashier's face as you pay: Priceless |    |
Joke by deistin, in Celebrity and news events > Miley Cyrus - Tagged wank , miley cyrus , yeah well she is over 16 , then again shes american , still i wouldnt spend acircpound15 on her dvd , what you would need permission and she would have to be under british law , but when is that gonna happen , i would leave america , you well fucking wad - Current Score: 2780 - Added: 1 month, 12 days ago
| I wanked over a blind girl yesterday. She never saw me coming. | |
Joke by RevvyB, in Sex and shit > Masturbation - Tagged wank , blind - Current Score: 1090 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| What's the most sensitive part of your body when you're having a wank? Your ears. | |
Joke by Cleveland Steamer, in Sex and shit > Masturbation - Tagged wank , ears , body part - Current Score: 735 - Added: 1 year, 11 months ago
| A psychology student is conducting a survey to study the masturbatory habits of males. She approaches the first man and says, "Excuse me, sir, I'm conducting a survey and would like to know, what do you hold in your left hand while you masturbate?" To which the man replies, "A remote controller, for the DVD". She then approaches the second man, with the same question. He answers, "I've got a magazine", and she notes down his answer. She then approaches a third man and asks him what he holds while he masturbates, to which he answers, "A bar of soap". Bemused by this, she asks why. "I'm bathing the kids." | |
Joke by caliban, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged bath , wank , paedophilia , paedophile , paedo , kids , kid , wanking , children , tv , soap , porn , masturbate , survey , hand , remote , dvd , magazine - Current Score: 481 - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago
| I approached a prostitute last night who offered me "hand relief" for £15. I find it ironic that the sort of person who is willing to stand half naked on a freezing street to sell their body to an endless succession of strangers, night after night, in order to fuel a lethal drugs habit won't lower themselves to use the word "wank." | |
Joke by lionarse, in Sex and shit > Prostitution - Tagged wank , sex , prostitute , hand relief - Current Score: 427 - Added: 3 months, 30 days ago
| I came very close to death today... I had a wank in the cemetery. | |
Joke by dirtyyfronts, in Illness and mortality > Death - Tagged wank , death , dead - Current Score: 421 - Added: 1 week ago
| A young couple had just had great sex. When they were finished, she looked in the box of condoms, but there were only six left out of twelve, so she asked him, "What happened to the other five condoms?" His nervous reply was, "Er, I masturbated with them." Later, she then approached one of her Male friends, told him the story, and then asked him, "Have you ever done that?" "Yeah, once or twice," he said. "You mean you've actually wanked with a condom before?" she asked. "Oh," he said, "I thought you were asking if I'd ever lied to my girlfriend." | |
Joke by baldlice, in Sex and shit > Girlfriend - Tagged wank , girlfriend , masturbate , condom , lie - Current Score: 419 - Added: 1 year ago
| What's the best thing about getting wanked off by a slutty schoolgirl? Having my nice warm Headmaster's office to do it in. | |
Joke by frankspankard, in Sex and shit > School - Tagged wank , pedophilia , office , slut , pedo , schoolgirl , headmaster - Current Score: 414 - Added: 2 months ago
| I still occasionally have a wank over the ex - I have the keys to her flat and she's a heavy sleeper. | |
Joke by Frank Chickens, in Sex and shit > Masturbation - Tagged wank , sleep , flat - Current Score: 382 - Added: 1 year, 7 months ago
| I read the following headline in the paper today: "Woman Beats Off Attacker". Well, I guess if he didn't get to rape her, at least he got a wank. | |
Joke by poosmellsyucky, in Sex and shit > Rape - Tagged wank , rape - Current Score: 359 - Added: 5 months, 14 days ago
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