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| Things You Learn From Watching Porn: Women wear high heels to bed. Men are never impotent. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he fucks her. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with spunk. Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle-aged men. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blow job. Women always orgasm when men do. A blow job will always get a woman off a speeding ticket. All women are noisy fucks. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background. Those tits are real. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt. Men always groan 'OH YEAH' when they cum. If there is two of them they 'high five' each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!) Double penetration makes women smile. Asian men don't exist. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth. There's a plot. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the ass. Nurses suck patients cocks. Men always pull out. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking both of you. Women never have headaches. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to 'suck it'. Assholes are clean. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's pants and find a cock there. Men don't have to beg. When standing during a blow job, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip. Pigtails = handlebars. |    |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Pornography - Tagged pornos , men , women , blowjobs , sex , woman - Current Score: 439 - Added: 11 months ago
| Husband and wife go for marriage guidance. When asked by the counsellor if they had anything at all in common the man replied "yes, neither of us sucks cocks!" | |
Joke by New Saint, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged women , marriage , blowjobs , dick - Current Score: 112 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| My girlfriend used to hate bukkake. Now she just takes it on the chin. | |
Joke by furiousg, in Sex and shit > Cum - Tagged cum , blowjobs - Current Score: 74 - Added: 1 month ago
| 3 social dropouts sitting on the kerb. Jimmy says "See that Bentley parked across the road?" "Wish I had the balls to rob a post office so I could afford to run that flash motor" Billy says "Yeah, I'd like to mug some minted fucker, steal all his money and be able to score that Roller down the road" Joey look at them both & says "I wish I could give blokes good blow-jobs!" The others look at him and say "Give blokes good blow-jobs? What the fuck are you talkin' about?" Joey smiles and says ........ "My sister does - and she owns both those cars!" | |
Joke by doversole, in Jokes with no home > Cars - Tagged cars , blowjobs , bentley , roller - Current Score: 13 - Added: 3 months ago
| What do you say to a girl who can suck a golf ball through a hose pipe? Marry me. | |
Joke by snert, in Sex and shit > Blow Job - Tagged golf ball , hose pipe , blowjobs , talented girls - Current Score: 6 - Added: 3 months ago
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